I dream of it. Was prepared for it. Still… it hurts.
Dream of an old man asking me of a promise I made to God… I promise that I broke over and over again. In that dream…I remembered the horror… I was speechless….wanting to defend myself but I know that I’ve failed. I’ve failed to protect her. I find myself lying and justifying and I know … I know is it’s futile lying to someone who already knows the answer…
Today…was the day… I broke the promise a final time. Such a failure I am huh? What was suppose to be happy turned sourly tragic. Well…now…I’m kind of lost. What’s going to happen? Has it been decide? Is there hope….was there ever hope? I seriously don’t know. . . I felt numb for some reason. Maybe I’m withdrawing again? Well…time will tell.
Met the Crusaders in the evening… Miss those noisy bunch a lot…It’s great to be able to be with the group you can share deep things and chat casually… There’s no need to worry while chatting…because you know that everybody can be trusted and they are on the same page as you. I really miss them… Alot of them are doing well…God bless them…
Met Audrey too in the Afternoon. She’s one of the few I can talk to too! Or at least she’s always with alot of interesting topics. Hmmm….I guess I do miss my poly days…
Send Winnie to her tuition today… kind of far to travel to work but at least she seems to enjoy it. Hmmm….If only….
1 Month left…
